Chocolate Chips, The Healthy Way

WEEK 15

Current Weight: 284.3 pounds
Pounds Lost: 11.7
Pounds Still To Lose For Goal Weight: 104.3
Progress Towards Tulum: 59.08 miles (approx. 3466.92 miles left to go)
Measurements: Waist (4" above belly button) 37.5" // Hips 57.5" // Neck 14"

I can't believe it's week fifteen! I've averaged around 0.78 pounds lost per week, so I can definitely do better, but I'm still pretty happy with that since (a) I've lost weight and (b) I spent the month of March pigging out and not moving.

Last week was stellar, though. I worked out 20 minutes three times, got my mileage up on the Marcy bike, and ate healthy meals for every dinner. B will shortly be jobless, so we've been cooking at home a lot (A LOT!!!) to reduce the urge to spend money on restaurants (and, in particularly weak and stressful moments, fast food.) But I've been cracking out my many cookbooks and working my way through healthy and filling options.

There are a couple of items my pantry can't seem to do without lately:

• Ghirardelli 60% Cacao Bittersweet Chocolate Chips: A few go a very long way! I normally have eight chips sprinkled over 1/2 cup of Breyer's Double Churn Creamy Vanilla Fat Free Ice Cream in the evenings - it's rich, delicious, tastes like Ben & Jerry's and is only 130 calories! Mix 16 chips, 3 oz peanuts and 1/2 cup golden raisins for 5 portions of a delicious afternoon trail mix snack.
• Thomas' 100% Whole Wheat Sahara Pita Pockets: These little guys are so versatile. I eat half of one with two Lite Laughing Cow Cheeses or 1/4 cup of veggie-enhanced chicken salad at work mid-morning to stave off the temptation to visit the office candy dish.
• Bionaturae Whole Wheat Pasta: I should be upfront - I never liked whole wheat pasta before I found Bionaturae. I thought the others tasted rough, cardboardy and unappealing, even doused in several cups of sauce. But one day I tried Bionaturae and I've never gone back to regular pasta. The flavor is light, the pasta is a perfect al dente when cooked and I love it with a light olive-oil-garlic topping or a heavy ragu.
• My mom's banana bread recipe: I turn it into muffins every weekend and have a filling, delicious and healthy breakfast every morning! (I'll post the recipe a bit later - it takes about 10 minutes to mix it up and 30 minutes to bake - fast and easy!)

The best part about this is that I've rediscovered my love of cooking. I look forward to planning healthy meals that are fun for me to make. And on Sunday mornings, I set to work in the kitchen. It's a great feeling going to bed on Sunday night knowing that not only do I not have to cook after work during the week, but I have yummy delights waiting for me at every snack and meal!

Reboot #4653

WEEK 11

Current Weight: 286.4 pounds
Pounds Lost: 9.6
Pounds Still To Lose For Goal Weight: 106.4
Progress Towards Tulum: 45.5 miles (approx. 3480.50 miles left to go)
Measurements: Waist (4" above belly button) 36" // Hips 56.5" // Neck 14"

Five times on the exercise bike last week, healthy food all week long, and at least 5 cups of water a day. Finally!

Of course, hard work aside, I got on the scale on Monday after four days of pointedly not stepping on it and read the horrifying result of all this extra attentiveness: 292.2 pounds! The reason you are not seeing that reported above is because 286.4 pounds is what I weighed this morning. And I'm really proud of that, although slightly nervous since I got food poisoning from an evil Dunkin Donuts ham, egg and cheese English muffin Monday morning and so didn't eat at all on Monday and only minimally (3 healthy-but-small meals and 1 snack) yesterday. But I'm thinking positive! I believe in the 286.4 pounds. I feel like 286.4 pounds. Fingers crossed that tomorrow I'm not suddenly ballooning back. I have a bunch of healthy lunches and snacks to eat this week, too, and some fairly healthy and yummy dinners.

So maybe this reboot will stick. Maybe the 286.4 won't be a fluke. But if it is, I know I can do this if I persevere. Even if it means I have to do reboot #4654.

P.S. I adjusted the bike miles after looking at my spreadsheet - my estimates from the last few weeks were totally off. But now it's all good!

Back on Track Again...

WEEK 10

Current Weight: 291.3 pounds
Pounds Lost: 4.7
Pounds Still To Lose For Goal Weight: 111.3
Progress Towards Tulum: 43.2 miles (approx. 3483 miles left to go)
Measurements: Waist (3" above belly button) 37" // Hips 56.5" // Neck 14"

Back on track. I only updated 1/2 a day in Sparkpeople last week, but today I have a stack of healthy snack foods on my desk, another stack of healthy lunches for the week in the office fridge, a pile of fruit at home on my counter, and a big pot of beef and barley stew cooling in my home fridge. This morning I used Marcy for 15 minutes and then did 30 crunches. So far I've drunk 3 cups of water today. For the first time in over a month I know that I have no more surgeries ahead and both of my legs are without pain or discomfort. I've lost a pound or two since last week and a bit of inch-age, too.

I had a talk with my mother a few days ago about babies. Both B and I really want them, but the timing never seems to be right, especially since now B is facing the end of his current job as of April 1 (or at least, the end of any incoming $$) and he doesn't have anything else lined up yet. My mom looked me over carefully and said, "Don't worry about jobs or income. Once you've done a month worth of exercising every day, go ahead and start trying again. And try to get up to an hour a day on the bike." So that's my new project. And since B and I want to start trying in April, that gives me a pretty immediate goal.

Today is another day, and tomorrow promises to be one, too. I may have to pick myself up occasionally, but I'm back on track and ready to roll!

The First Backslide and "Comfort Food" Gone Wild

WEEK 9

Current Weight: 293.2 pounds
Pounds Lost: 2.8
Pounds Still To Lose For Goal Weight: 113.2
Progress Towards Tulum: 43.2 miles (approx. 3483 miles left to go)
Measurements: Waist (3" above belly button) 38" // Hips 57" // Neck 14"

So this month was a complete backslide. All of my careful menu planning of January was blasted away in a month of (a) two outpatient surgeries on my legs, (b) a good friend's husband slipping into a potentially irreversible coma, and (c) my stepfather being hospitalized for half a week for an infection pretending to be heart issues. "Comfort food" took on a whole new meaning as B. and I rushed home every day to snuggle away the terror of losing each other in a wave of chicken fingers, buffalo sauce, blue cheese and soda. End result? I'm back over 290 pounds, hobbling around on recovering legs, and have consumed so many calories in the past month I'll probably be nominated for some sort of record. The most I've "cooked" over the last month has been toast and reheating canned soup. Time to get back on track! My surgeries are over, my stepdad is fine, my friend's situation is what it is (whether I'm 200 or 290 pounds) and my life has to get back to normal now. Today I will begin tracking my food again (oh, yeah, that fell by the wayside, too) and maybe I can pull this careful work out of the crapper before I'm saying hello to 296 again...

EVLT, Blue Cheese, and Too Much Ice Cream

WEEK 7

Current Weight: 288.0 pounds
Pounds Lost: 8
Pounds Still To Lose For Goal Weight: 108.0
Progress Towards Tulum: 43.2 miles (approx. 3483 miles left to go)
Measurements: Waist (3" above belly button) 38" // Hips 55" // Neck 14"

Argh, argh and triple argh! I had an EVLT treatment on my right leg this past week, and I used the surgery, resulting brief convalesence and exciting pre- and post-op drugs as a massive excuse to eat not one but THREE buffalo-chicken-fingers-with-double-fries meals. Not to mention the towering pile of whipped cream, fudge, brownies and ice cream that B. cajoled me into getting after one of the chicken fingers outings. Frankly it's a miracle that our budget survived and that I only packed on 3.8 extra pounds. I blame poor menu planning and my own weak-willed caving to blue-cheese-and-buffalo-sauce-laced menu items.

The EVLT treatment is a positive step for me, as I have had swollen, painful feet and ankles since last Labor Day, and it was finally (!) diagnosed as vascular issues. Week 7 was leg one (Righty) and Week 9 will be leg two (The Troublemaker - don't ask), and hopefully within a month I'll be able to work out more, go ballroom dancing with B., and not get yell-y when people grab my ankles and say, "Good lord, they're huge!" Now my ankles will revert to their decent pre-Labor Day levels of fatness (so people can think privately that they're huge but won't be compelled to grab them.)

So, to recap:

• Too much blue cheese
• Too much buffalo sauce
• Too many fries and chicken fingers
• WAY too much towering choco-blast sundae dessert madness
• Virtually no water
• 4 days of Marcy-riding/walking - a post-EVLT requirement for circulation purposes
  

I have high hopes for Week 8, however - I am setting up healthy meals and snacks for B. and myself, I have a medical requirement to ride my exercise bike and walk, and I'm going to be at work, which always means more water-drinking. Wish me luck!

The Daily Weigh-In Dilemma and Valentine's Day Splurges

WEEK 6

Current Weight: 284.2 pounds
Pounds Lost: 11.8
Pounds Still To Lose For Goal Weight: 104.2
Progress Towards Tulum: 31.9 miles (approx. 3494 miles left to go)
Measurements: Waist (3.5" above belly button) 36.5" // Hips 56.5" // Neck 14"

I missed a week! I plead "crazy, busy work schedule" as my excuse, but I'm back now and still slowly slimming myself.

Despite the fact that Mondays are my official "weigh-in" days (when I record my weight in this blog and use it as my yardstick (or fatstick, I suppose) to track my changes) I actually weigh myself almost every day. A lot of days I see little or no variation, but then other days... During Week 5, I was 284.2 for the last three days of the week. Then, last Monday I stepped on the scale and voila! I was magically 286.2 pounds. There are a lot of reasonable reasons for these kind of variations - water weight gained or lost, normal fluctuations, hormonal shifts, a ginormous meal the night before. The problem is that none of these reasonable explanations can ward off the sneaky feeling of depression that creeps over one when staring down at a weight gain on a "weigh-in" day - especially when you know that you've been eating healthy and drinking water and trying to do everything right. It makes you wonder if you can do it, if any of this is even helping, if it wouldn't be better to just give yourself up as a lost cause. I can (and do) let these feelings wash over me and slide off of my brain like water off of a duck's back. I pick myself back up, I mutter a few imprecations at the scale, I reassure myself with a glance in the mirror that my neck waddle is receding, and I move on. I strive to be better, knowing that even "better" isn't going to cut it sometimes. Some days you are doomed for the upswing, and some of those days will even be "weigh-in" days. It helps me to weigh myself every day(-ish) because all of those 284.2s preceding my "weigh-in" of 286.2 last Monday are a reminder that this IS working, that Monday was an off day, that I need to (as always) drink more water, ride more Marcy, and keep my chin up and my food homemade and nutritious. Of course, it helps even more that even after a weekend of unhealthy eating habits, my weigh-in today was a good one...

Speaking of that weekend, it was Valentine's Day this past Saturday. B got me Lindt truffles, knowing my love for chocolate but also knowing my fear of eating too much of it. He felt that the truffles would be a compromise - not too unhealthy on their own, but still delicious. *sigh* Sadly I threw caution and prudence to the wind and ate the lot with B's help during the day on Valentine's. We also made big ribeye steaks with a delicious roasted mix of broccoli, potato wedges, red onion and garlic. It was heaven. We finished the evening with bowls of homemade apple crisp, still warm and cinnamon-y and delightful. Sunday I made us a glazed ham to carry us through the week. I think with a little ham, a lot of salad and some wheat ciabatta, the meals we have can be delicious and healthy.

To recap Weeks 5 & 6:

• Mid-week lunches of roasted broccoli and shrimp risotto from Week 4 weekend and whole wheat spaghetti with tomato sauce and ground pork
  
• Mid-week dinners of chicken and veggie pot pie and "light" kielbasa with sauerkraut
  
• Twice-daily snacks of steamed shui mai dumplings with sweet chilli sauce (from bbcgoodfood.com), hummus and veggies, or sun-dried tomato dip with pita bread
  
• Weekends of hearty pasta soup soup (from bbcgoodfood.com) and the aforementioned scrumptious steak dinner
  
• 4 days of Marcy-riding
  

As always, I trumpet a continuing cry to myself of:

"DRINK MORE WATER AND RIDE MORE MILES!!!"

Marcy and my daily weigh-ins will thank me.

Asian Food and Cupcakes

WEEK 4

Current Weight: 285.4 pounds
Pounds Lost: 10.6
Pounds Still To Lose For Goal Weight: 105.4
Progress Towards Tulum: 25.09 miles (approx. 3501 miles left to go)
Measurements: Waist (4" above belly button) 38" // Hips 54" // Neck 14"

I spent the majority of the week eating healthy Asian food meals prepared at home by yours truly. On Friday, there were cupcakes to be had, and I ate a dark chocolate one with white chocolate cream cheese frosting without regret, knowing I've been doing well. Then B. and I went to Outback Steakhouse, where I ate half an order of Grilled Shrimp on the Barbie, 3/4 of a 14 oz. ribeye (too much...but so good!) and a side order of broccoli. I did indulge in some of their Bushman loaf (which sounds dirty, but is really just honey wheat bread), but I avoided drinking soda or getting cheesy fries (2900 calories for an entire order), so at least two steps in the right direction!

Other than that, I really need to get back in the swing with Marcy. I only rode twice this past week and that's really not good enough. Especially as I'm only riding 10-15 minutes at a time. So this week I told B. that I would be riding every evening, and I'm really going to try to stick to that.

Besides Marcy, water continues to be my big downfall, especially on the weekends. I'm lucky if I get up to 3 cups a day on Saturday and Sunday, and that's with me carting around a Nalgene everywhere I go in the house. I just can't seem to teach my brain to auto-drink water. I am working on this though - there is a way to break me of my dry ways, I just know it!

Overall, a month has past since I've started this and I've lost over 10 pounds. Since my initial goal was 1-2 pounds a week, I'm very pleased with this result. I don't necessarily expect following months to be the same, but as long as I keep moving forward with this, I think the end results will be just as much reason to celebrate.

To recap Week 4:

• Mid-week lunches of five-spice chicken, gingery shiitake noodles and sauteed garlic baby bok choy (from bbcgoodfood.com)
  
• Mid-week dinners of homemade veggie fried rice
  
• Twice-daily snacks of apples with natural peanut butter (Smuckers is the best) and steamed shui mai dumplings with sweet chilli sauce (from bbcgoodfood.com)
  
• A weekend of Thai-style chicken soup with brown rice (from cooksillustrated.com) and roasted broccoli and shrimp risotto (from my brain-ish - a combination of a nytimes.com recipe and my own risotto talents)
  
• 2 days of Marcy-riding
  

I continue to be very pleased with how this is going. I just need to continue to keep myself supplied with healthy snacks and yummy homemade meals that also keep me slimming down, rather than bulking up.